What “role” means in a kin system
In a kinship-based society, a person’s relatives define a set of roles with expected behavior. A mother’s brother, a grandmother, a son-in-law and a sister each occupy a position with duties and customary ways of interacting. This article looks at two much-discussed features of Apache kinship: where married couples lived, and the customs of respect between in-laws. It also looks at some other roles that appear in the ethnographic literature.
Most of the detailed descriptions come from anthropologists who worked with Apache communities mostly in the first half of the twentieth century, including work among the Chiricahua, Mescalero and Western Apache. These accounts are valuable but come from outside observers, they describe particular communities at particular times, and they sometimes disagree. Apache nations are living societies, and their members’ own accounts and current practices take precedence over any summary.
Matrilocal residence
Matrilocal residence means that after marriage, a couple lives with or near the wife’s family. It is frequently reported for the Western Apache, the Chiricahua and the Mescalero. In this arrangement, a woman’s mother, sisters and daughters tended to live as neighbors, forming a cluster of related households. Children grew up surrounded by their maternal relatives.
Several consequences are commonly noted. The female relatives of a family provided continuity: the camp or household cluster was built around them. Dwellings, which in many groups were built by women, stayed in the family’s hands. A husband was a newcomer, expected to contribute through hunting, labor and conduct that respected his wife’s relatives. Some accounts also describe men moving between camps, especially after a period of service to the wife’s family.
Group differences matter. The Jicarilla, Lipan and Plains Apache are described in the literature with somewhat different patterns, and the sources for the Lipan and Plains Apache are thinner. Even among groups where matrilocal residence was typical, it was a tendency and not an iron rule, and individual choices, the availability of land and the effects of war and removal could change where people lived. The topic of Apache women in a matrilocal society shows how this shaped women’s standing, and it is also a good reason to be cautious about any claim that Apache society was simply patriarchal.
Respect customs between in-laws
Perhaps the best-known kinship custom in the Apache literature is the practice of avoidance or great formality between certain in-laws. In accounts of several groups, a man and his mother-in-law were expected to avoid direct contact, and to speak with each other, if at all, in indirect or very respectful ways. Similar restraint is described between some other relatives by marriage.
Writers have offered different explanations, and it is best to treat the explanations as interpretations. A common view is that such customs showed deep respect and helped prevent friction in households where relatives lived very close together. They are not generally described as signs of dislike. The customs did not mean the relationship was unimportant; on the contrary, the son-in-law was usually expected to provide generously for his wife’s family.
How these customs are observed today varies. Some families keep elements of them, others do not, and many people have never experienced them. It would be a mistake to treat the ethnographic description as a rule that every Apache family follows now.
Other kin roles
Writers on Apache kinship also mention roles beyond the couple and their in-laws:
- Grandparents are widely described as teachers and advisers to the young, a role that is still emphasized today.
- Maternal uncles are described in several accounts as having a particular responsibility for guiding and disciplining nephews and nieces, though this too varies by group.
- Siblings and cousins could be very close. In many Apache kin systems, terms for some cousins overlap with sibling terms, which carries expectations of loyalty and help.
- Older siblings often took on care of younger children, and the relationship between brothers and sisters was one of restraint and respect in several accounts.
The terms vary by language, which is why the Apache languages and dialects themselves are an important source for understanding these roles.
Clans and the wider network
Among the Western Apache, clan membership added another layer. Because clans extended across communities, a person could count on certain obligations to clan relatives outside their own camp. This is described in more detail in the companion article on the Apache clan system. The Chiricahua and Mescalero are generally described without clans of this kind, relying more on kin ties traced through both parents.
Roles under pressure and in change
The roles described above were shaped for a particular way of life, with seasonal movement and camp clusters. Reservation life, wage work, schooling away from home and modern housing changed the conditions under which they operate. Families today often combine older expectations, such as respect for elders and obligations to relatives, with new circumstances. Some customs continue strongly, some are adapted, and some have faded, partly because of the disruptions of boarding schools and forced assimilation.
Readers interested in what a particular nation says about its own traditions should consult that nation’s official website or cultural office. Some knowledge about family and ceremonial life is held within families and communities and is not shared publicly, and that is a choice worth respecting.