What the extended family was
The extended family is a household network that reaches beyond parents and children to include grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Descriptions of Apache societies by ethnographers and historians generally treat it as the main working unit of life, more immediate than a clan or a nation. People relied on it for food, shelter, safety, child-rearing and company.
This article focuses on how extended-family households were arranged and how they function today. It deals with the practical side, and it keeps clan structure, in-law customs and the role of elders for other articles in the cluster. The Apache nations differ from each other, so statements are tied to named groups where possible and are otherwise general. The site is independent and does not speak for any nation.
The historical household cluster
In the accounts of many Apache groups, the typical arrangement was a cluster of closely related households. At its center was often an older couple, together with their married daughters, those daughters’ husbands and children, and unmarried sons and daughters. The tendency for married couples to live near the wife’s family, known as matrilocal residence, is frequently reported for the Western Apache, Chiricahua and Mescalero. The related topic of the Apache wickiup and tipi homes describes the dwellings, which were often built by women and grouped near each other. The Plains Apache and some eastern groups used tipis more than the dome-shaped wickiups familiar in the Southwest.
Such clusters were small enough to be mobile and large enough to hold a range of skills and ages. A group might include experienced hunters, people knowledgeable about plants and medicine, children being taught and elders who could advise. Different clusters might camp near one another, cooperating in activities like harvests, and might move through the year according to the availability of food. For more about the yearly pattern, see the topic of Apache seasonal camps.
Shared tasks
Within the cluster, work was shared. Food gathered or hunted by one household was often distributed among others, and child care was spread among relatives. Older children looked after younger ones. Grandparents, who might be too old for strenuous work, contributed through child care, advice and the telling of family history. Skilled craftspeople, such as basket makers, supplied others’ needs. Where farming was practiced, as among the Western Apache, fields might be worked by related families together.
This sharing was expected, not optional. It was a form of social insurance: a family that had a poor season could be supported by relatives who had a good one, and the reverse might be true the next year.
Authority and decisions
Decisions affecting the group, such as where to camp or when to move, were usually reached through discussion among the older members. The oldest women and men often had strong influence, although accounts differ by group about how formal this was. Leadership in Apache societies is generally described as based on respect and demonstrated ability and not on inheritance of office, as covered in articles on Apache leadership roles. The extended family was typically the setting in which a person first experienced such leadership.
Change during the reservation era
Reservation life disrupted these arrangements. Families were moved, concentrated, or divided; movement for hunting and gathering was restricted; and houses built on assigned plots often replaced mobile dwellings. Rations, wage labor and schooling changed who contributed what. For the Chiricahua, imprisonment as prisoners of war meant that families lived under military control for decades, an experience covered in other parts of the site. Yet many families kept extended-family cooperation alive by living near one another where possible, sharing housing and pooling resources.
Extended families today
Today, family arrangements vary widely. On reservations, it is common for several generations to live in the same house or on adjacent lots, with grandparents helping raise children. Housing shortages in some communities can lead to crowding, which makes extended-family living both a choice and a necessity, and it would be inaccurate to romanticize it. Other Apache families live in towns and cities in households that look much like those of their neighbors, while keeping close ties to relatives elsewhere through phone calls, visits and shared events.
Many families continue to expect relatives to look after one another: housing a cousin who needs a place to stay, helping with funeral costs, or raising a grandchild. The importance of language programs, tribal services and community events is often tied to supporting these family networks.
Where to learn more
Because family arrangements are personal and vary by community, general statements about Apache households can only go so far. Readers who want current, accurate information about family services, housing or community programs should consult the official websites of the relevant nations, and those interested in a community’s own account of family life should look for materials produced by the communities and by Apache authors.